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spinner44.com Community Member
Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Posts: 593 Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:11 am Post subject: Facebook - Sometimes I just don't get it |
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Here's a question. Why do people "friend" you on Facebook and never reply to a message?
I have three people on my friends list whom I have either messaged or in one case messaged them before having friend status only to have them "friend" me and never reply to my original hello and what have you been up to.
I ask, what's the point? |
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joberg Community Member
Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 9447
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:12 am Post subject: |
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Well, Spinner44, here's my philosophy for life: we have to make a difference between the terms "friend"and "acquaintance".
I have literally thousands of acquaintances, but only a few friends.
Knowing the difference between the two makes for a more rewarding existence...just my two cents |
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andy Community Guide
Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 6237 Location: Rochester, NY
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 11:56 am Post subject: |
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I think many people just get a facebook account and then never really check back into it. When they do they feel weird replying to a weeks old message. Either that or your message gets lost in the hundreds of basically spam messages. That is for those that went friending crazy just to get their numbers up.
I say, it may just be nothing more than them being too busy to reply to all their messages. Or they abandoned FB and all it's quirks and bugs and went to linked in. Perhaps?
Andy |
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SKIN JOB 66 Community Member
Joined: 16 Jan 2008 Posts: 2724 Location: FRANCE
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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I was just registered for one week on Facebook.
Why ?
Because I quickly realized I wouldn't find the time to be polite and talk with everybody that wanted to befriend me...
I found this place pretty freaky and superficial, actualy...
Fred _________________ THE FUTURE IS A THING OF THE PAST |
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oldzey Community Member
Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 569 Location: Peoria, Illinois
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 12:50 pm Post subject: |
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/rant on
Facebook definitely gets old. I've been on it for about 3 years now.
Seems to me that the majority of the folks my age (41) use it to show off pictures of their families. OK once in a while but I don't need to know what a person is doing every weekend (and be notified that there are 80 pictures of it).
I have two accounts - one for my high school friends from 25 years ago and one for my professional life today. Two very different versions of myself. I don't need any of my professional colleagues seeing me partying in 1985.
As far as friends go - I usually add them if requested. I try to keep it under 100 of my best friends and I avoid adding family members to save myself embarrassment.
Once in a while I get in a mood and purge inactive friends. I keep the ones that actually respond or post something every once in a while. If they request me back after I delete them, then I know at least they are paying attention. Amazing how mad you can make people by deleting them from Facebook - superficial indeed.
My privacy settings are maxed out and I turn off all notifications that would otherwise be spamming my friends. I get really annoyed at all the stupid quizzes and games that still come through and it's an ongoing battle to keep them turned off. Still, it's a step up from e-mail and is a convenient way to find people.
/rant off |
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darkknight0667 Community Guide
Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 799 Location: Land O Lakes, FL
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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SKIN JOB 66 wrote: |
I found this place pretty freaky and superficial, actually...
Fred |
Join the club on that. I signed up a few weeks ago because I was tired of people telling me that I needed to be on there. After only giving them my name and birth date, they immediately shot back with a list of people that "I might know" and it was eerie how spot on and diverse the grouping was. There were folks that I worked with 12+ years ago alongside people from high school and others that I know from some of the boards. How the hell did it instantly connect me to all these people given only my real world name (something that I don't really use online) and my birth date? It was too freaky, so I logged off immediately and took only went back on earlier today.
I'm still not too sure about the place, though. _________________ Pete |
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spinner44.com Community Member
Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Posts: 593 Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:33 pm Post subject: |
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I guess my post was more a comentary rant on manners. If I know you and write you to say "hey it's been a while, this is what I am up to, how about you?" The polite thing to do is write back. Instead I get friended on Facebook and never hear back regarding my original message. I guess the thought might be to look at their posts or profile that is incomplete and figure out how they are doing and what they've been up to?
I understand people get busy, but the people I am writing are posting in the feeds daily, just not willing to respond to a direct message.
Honestly I like Facebook and even Twitter to a degree. I get them. I just don't get some people.
Time to thin out the herd I guess.
Rant ended. |
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andy Community Guide
Joined: 01 Nov 2006 Posts: 6237 Location: Rochester, NY
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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Rant away. I feel bad that my girlfriend hears all my rants, maybe I should rant here more often
I say if they can't spend the time to say "hi" back or are too afraid to get into a real conversation with someone, SCREW EM'
Andy |
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oldzey Community Member
Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 569 Location: Peoria, Illinois
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:32 pm Post subject: |
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Just a little hint for those registering a new Facebook account.
I do not recommend using an e-mail address that you normally use to register (i.e. one with a lot of contacts).
What happens is that Facebook will (one way or another) search your contact list and then recommend those folks to you.
You are supposed to give them permission to do that, but you never know - it just takes mistakenly clicking on a "yes" (ever accidentally install the Yahoo toolbar?) or a policy change and your e-mail contact list belongs to Facebook.
I recommend opening up a brand spanking new e-mail account and using that to register. You can then add your own friends manually.
For those who grew up with Big Brother in our lexicon, the amount of information gathered by Facebook is kind of freaky (in addition to the way it sorts and processes it).
I originally got on Facebook because all my students were on there and it was easier to keep track of them after graduation that way (requests for reference letters, alumni newsletters, etc.). What I quickly found out is that Big Brother does not bother them - in fact, they basically say "bring it on" - please watch me and interconnect me to everyone possible. Some of my students have over 1,000 friends - wtf?
Definitely a modern example of the generation gap and scares the crap out of me sometimes about how much computers can segment and custom mold themselves to your preferences. I'll bet there's some serious marketing research that goes on behind the scenes based upon the information freely shared over Facebook. It would also not surprise me if photo recognition software crawled users' pages to gather additional personal information to be used for... well, whatever they want to use it for. Students may think twice about what they share on Facebook when they find out that employers routinely search Facebook pages as a part of the job screening process.
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean everyone ISN'T out to get me, eh? |
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sethb6025 Community Member
Joined: 22 Dec 2006 Posts: 248 Location: York, PA US
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:22 pm Post subject: |
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I FB, mostly to have my friends be able to see my photos, without having them posted somewhere publicly, or having to send pain in the butt passwords and so on, like shutterfly, etc.
Orwell probably never thought we'd willingly give everything over, making telescreens unnecessary.
Oldzey, you should enjoy this news. _________________ Wait; I'm having one of those things! You know; a headache with pictures? |
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joberg Community Member
Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 9447
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:34 am Post subject: |
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What kills me is the word "privacy"put together with Web .
Seems to me that once you're on the internet, the privacy word becomes moot. Whatever info you've putted on the net(any board/site) stays there forever and can/will be searched and found by anybody at anytime... |
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photek Community Member
Joined: 11 Nov 2006 Posts: 182
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:12 am Post subject: |
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hey spinner44 - you hit it on the head. its about just being polite. i have people i haven't heard from in 20 freakin years cold-friending me and i always write a 'how the hell are ya' dealio with a short preemptive update only to just get friended the next day.
its pretty weak that that is acceptable.
so... now i write (actually - i cut and paste) the EXACT same thing to everyone:
"OMG you look sooo good `despite the fact that you wear your wife's bra`
'you have a beautiful boy/girl/ spawn.'
'you're wife/husband looks soooo sweet
`what Bennigan's did you meet at?`.'
'i lick windows for a living! its so great to sum up 20 years in one email! LOL,BFF,HBO,HDV,FBI,CIA,GAY!!!!'
i keep it for those interesting moments and reunions (the %0.01) - but they are worth it. my biggest gripe is that stupid chat function so every time i go on and some cro-mag from the past wants to play 'lets get caught up on 20 lost years' - i have to see who is on, and if its someone i am afraid of i have to immediately log off.
anyway - you were right, its just about being polite. seems to have fallen to the wayside amigo. _________________ two legs bad, four legs good. |
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sethb6025 Community Member
Joined: 22 Dec 2006 Posts: 248 Location: York, PA US
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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You can turn off the chat, or select who can see you in it. _________________ Wait; I'm having one of those things! You know; a headache with pictures? |
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darkknight0667 Community Guide
Joined: 11 Apr 2006 Posts: 799 Location: Land O Lakes, FL
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Posted: Sat Oct 31, 2009 8:46 pm Post subject: |
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I just signed on a few minutes ago to confirm some friends and was astounded by all the updates from other peoples' pages. I've got to be honest, I'm not all that interested in the minutia of my own life, what makes people think that others would be interested in the minutia of theirs? It's quite weird, actually. _________________ Pete |
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oldzey Community Member
Joined: 30 Apr 2007 Posts: 569 Location: Peoria, Illinois
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 3:45 am Post subject: |
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photek wrote: | 'you're wife/husband looks soooo sweet
`what Bennigan's did you meet at?' |
Good stuff - I may have to cut and paste that one myself... |
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photek Community Member
Joined: 11 Nov 2006 Posts: 182
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Posted: Sun Nov 01, 2009 2:21 pm Post subject: |
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thanks sethb6025! i rarely go on for fear of a useless chat session with someone i haven't spoken to in 10 years. this will enable me to find out who "is feeling guilty after eating all that chunky-monkey" or whatever - but in peace.
feel free oldzey! BTW - in case it didn't come across - those bits were all my internal monologue as i type the usual PC drivel... _________________ two legs bad, four legs good. |
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jfuste Community Member
Joined: 31 Dec 2007 Posts: 739 Location: Barcelona, Spain
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Posted: Mon Nov 02, 2009 9:15 am Post subject: |
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I use Facebook for family and friends issues, and also in my job. Separate accounts, of courswe. Also, it was a nice way to recover contact with pals and school friends. A nice place to take a break and play, if you like mini-games.... and, finally, I created a "Blade Runner" fan account for all people who loves this movie....
Time. I need more time. Yes. _________________
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